so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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