I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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