he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
pray to the hookup gods
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
