Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
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