Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
