We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
where are my eyebrows?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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