and she was petting her beer can
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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