I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Even my vagina gasped.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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