Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Randomize
