meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
