Where is the hickey?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
