Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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