Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
