I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
