I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
