Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
