I wannas sexs uuuuu
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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