Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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