Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
