If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
