He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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