Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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