I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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