i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's blow job season.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
