You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
