So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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