so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
