Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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