fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
birth control should be required to get into college
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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