I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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