Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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