Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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