He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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