he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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