thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
