...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
