Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
