i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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