I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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