and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
