i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
