I need help removing her.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
