You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
