I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
