i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
