is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
