Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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