Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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