I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize