It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
