smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
