roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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