You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We need a shit load of segways right now
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
