you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
