to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
