and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
