stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
