she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
